so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
