I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
