East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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