Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize