the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
