I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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