And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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