wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
