We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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