Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize