so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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