i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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