I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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