What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
