Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When are your genitals available?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
