im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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