i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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