i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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