batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Randomize
