If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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