All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
