Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
