How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize