I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
