dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
