i think i have herpe
just one?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
