I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
