Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
