i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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