So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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