You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
