I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
