Please, let me fuck your mom
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What a dumb baby whore.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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