i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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