It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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