Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
