standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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