my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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