I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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