U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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