U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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