ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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