Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
