My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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