Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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