And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
