he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
