Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
