How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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