Jerry, you need to find god
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
