i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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