I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
