I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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