I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
