Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its not stalking. its research.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
