he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
