oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
