We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
