like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
