what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
