hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
