Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
