I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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