You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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