; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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