She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
